How to Waste Time in Hotels (Starring me)


There isn’t much to do in Indiana, at least not where I was. So, I took to a more creative expression of energy; practicing my signature. As I already have a signature I have used since I was young, this exercise was more masturbatory than purposeful. After a few hours, I was surprised to find this task more tedious than previously anticipated. Another activity must be found!


Ah, of course some light reading, that will strike out the banal process of waiting until sleep at a hotel in the middle of nowhere. Or so I thought…Did you know there is not one Duck character in this whole collection. And you thought black people had it bad! They are missing out on a whole market of 3-4″ tall, anthropomorphized, aquatic waterfowl. What trash!

At least there are plenty more things to do in a sleepy little hotel…What was that!!??


Oh, it was just another nocturnal patron looking to procure an eventful evening…Or they have been watching me since I made the reservation!!!! I’m sure its nothing. Better check the window…

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Nope, everything is fine for now. I suppose I will get ready for bed.

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Damn you Costco! Damn you and your immense deals!

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I mean seriously Costco!!!

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Bedtime and that means TV time! Where is that remote?

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There it is, hidden right in plain sight. I swear these things are the easiest to lose.

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Well, not much on. Better just turn it off the TV. Hey wait a second…..

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Where the Hell is that damn remote!! Every time with this thing!

So I am writing this in a hotel, using pictures that I took from a previous stay at a different hotel, in another state. So this is literally how you kill time in hotels.


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